Merry Christmas

To say the least, I’m facing a few challenges with the language here. I spend three hours a day in my Chinese class, but all it does is make me miss the alphabet. I daydream for hours about roman letters—about words with Latin roots. Though writing and I had our disagreements in the past, we’ve been on relatively good terms for a few years now. Ever since I learned how to read in third grade, it’s been pretty smooth sailing. But now? Learning characters? It’s like I’m playing Pictionary 24 hours a day. I’ve even started to dream about little stick-figure men wearing various hats and standing on top of compartmentalized boxes.

This one has a friend, this one likes flags. Can’t guess it? Oops, time’s up.

Anyway, Mandarin is rough, but I’m building a nice foundation. You wouldn’t believe how well I can introduce myself to strangers and ask for their surnames. Where would I be if I couldn’t tell them my nationality and (after politely letting them know how nice it is to meet them) ask where the cafeteria is? I can even invite them into said cafeteria and ask them to sit! Wonderful. 1.3 billion friends-I-haven’t-met-yet, and all of them love dumplings just as much as I do. We’re perfect for each other.

…But maybe not yet.

Food is where it gets slightly problematic. Sure, I can ask the waiter what time he went swimming yesterday, but I don’t know how to order what I want for lunch yet. You’d probably think that this is a huge problem, but once again you’d be underestimating the wonders of Chinese ingenuity. Like many other things, the US has this, but China just manages to do it better.

But where am I going with this, you ask? The rail system? Counterfeit products? Economic growth?

Nay. Picture menus.

China has the best usage of picture menus that I have ever seen. It’s fantastic. Not only are menus covered with pictures though, but so are the walls! Everywhere you look there are portraits of food; there’s artwork everywhere. It’s like the Louve, but instead of angelic murals above the furniture, there’s chow mien. Even better.

There’s no question about how much I’ll be paying, or what my meal will look like. All I need to do is find something that looks pretty, point, and then smile and nod at every question the waiter asks me afterwards. Language barrier schmanguage barrier, it’s like Christmas three times a day. I may or may not know exactly what I’m eating, but who cares as long as it looks good? And regardless, I love surprises. It may be mystery meat, but it helps if you try not to think about that.

…Just assume it's pork, and think happy thoughts.

“Ooo! What did Chairman Claus bring for me today?”

Zai jian,

Jhw