Green Means Go

Unless you’re a car, van, bus, moped, taxi, truck, or motorcycle, in which case so do red and yellow. Although really, red and yellow don’t necessarily mean “go”, so much as they are just signs that you shouldn’t bother slowing down or stopping. And why should you? You, my dear Chinese driver, are the only one on the road. Therefore, there is no reason that you should follow rules or laws; 5 PM in Shanghai has essentially the same amount of traffic that Wilsonville does at 2 AM on a Monday. And despite the light clearly having turned red 5 seconds ago, there are no other vehicles on the road that might be in the intersection that you are not slowing down for. You have the right of way—always. And who could deserve it more than you? Your taxi is a gift from god that is exempt from moral righteousness and traffic signals.

And pedestrians? They don’t have wheels; they don’t have an internal combustion engine; they don’t have souls. Peons. If they’re not bigger than you—and few are—what concern is it to you? So don’t worry about giving them the “right” to walk across the street; it’s more of a privilege anyway. If they’re in the way, they need to move regardless of what their petty crosswalk sign may be instructing them to do. Little green man, or little red man, you’re still perfectly entitled to turn right, left, or hell, even go straight on red. After all, you’re more important than everyone else—especially pedestrians.

So keep driving Shanghai, and enjoy every minute of it. Someday you may actually have traffic laws to worry about...

Zai jian,

Jhw