Americana

I’ve discovered the true American dream. I refer to America specifically because I doubt any other culture would appreciate this as much as we would. It’s been right in front of us this entire time, but it still hasn’t caught on. It’s so simple. It’s so beautiful. It’s so round. Think you’ve figured it out? No?

America, if I may, I’d like to introduce you to: 

The Lazy Susan.

Maybe I should leave you two alone for a bit to get to know each other a little better…

Kidding, you all know my attention span is far too short for that. Anyway, this wonderful gadget has been present in the US for years, and yet it gets less mainstream usage than the Segway. Truly, it’s a shame. The only explanation I can give as to why it isn’t in every restaurant is ignorance; maybe we Americans just don’t know how good things could be. Fortunately for you and me though, I’ve been given this great opportunity to go abroad and expand my horizons. This, my dear followers, is why it is so important to travel: to embrace foreign cultures.

(Cough)

But let me start from the top: Chinese restaurants are essentially the same as American restaurants, the main difference being that the menus are in Chinese. They also typically serve some kind of Chinese cuisine, and people will sometimes spit on the floor. Sorry if this seems remedial, but some of you are slower than others. Anyway, this is where it gets fascinating: smaller tables are fundamentally the same, but the larger, rounded tables have this heavenly device on them known as a Lazy Susan. Your group will order dishes, the waiter will place them on the Lazy Susan, and then this contraption will spin! How delightful.

Tired of your Kung Pao Chicken? Don’t feel like asking your friend to “please” pass you the Lo Mien? Give her a whirl! It’s the pinnacle of ease and the downfall of table manners. Perfect. And in this fast-paced, internet-fueled world we live in, who has the time table manners? Who has the time to wait for dishes to be physically passed around a table? We have places to go and people to see! The Google generation is the Lazy Susan generation.

Generation Y? Hardly. Generation LS.

Better yet, you don’t have to settle for overeating from your own dish, you can overeat from the plates of your entire table! Truly, a more American device does not exist. So why then is it so common in China and not the US? It’s beyond explanation. Maybe this is why the Chinese economy is set to overtake us within a generation. Maybe this is their secret. But I’m here to tell you America, if this is it, then we still have a chance. We just need to embrace who we are and go back to our roots:

A chicken in every pot, and a Lazy Susan under it.

Zai jian,

Jhw